


Stories of the Second Self: Regular Hero

by John_Steiner



Series: Alter Idem [5]
Category: Essential Workers - Fandom, Urban Fantasy - Fandom, lockdown - Fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-01
Updated: 2020-02-01
Packaged: 2021-02-25 17:24:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22499764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/John_Steiner/pseuds/John_Steiner
Summary: The supernatural Pentacastes are everywhere, as is the practice of magic, and those who are still human with no powers have to cope with the new reality. Yet, trash still accumulates on residential streets and a garbage worker's job is never done.
Series: Alter Idem [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1618813





	Stories of the Second Self: Regular Hero

Over the course of weeks and months, Cincinnati become a different city. Angels, werewolves, Fae, vampires, and eventually giants sprang up without explanation. Fully a fifth of the people just weren't human anymore, and some got drunk with the power that granted them. Worse, magic became a thing, and even those still human start dippin' into the arcane.

And then some of them had a bright idea. They took over neighborhood watch groups but not just as themselves. Instead, they saw a chance to live out their favorite comic book characters, even if their new Second Self didn't quite match the superhero from the pages they devoured.

At first, they called themselves "X-Men" and after that lifted the term "Justice League." Despite the world turning upside down, the two comic franchises still had the wherewithal to issue legal Cease & Desist orders. It wasn't for issues of copyright infringement but liability, in the event that either a "hero" or the people they went after were injured or killed.

The street crusaders had to devise their own name: American Heroes Official League. Yeah, we just call 'em AHOLs. One day it's an angel wearing a reversed color scheme of Superman's costume with a U and two dots for Überman, and the next I see a vampire made up to look like the most severe Batman I ever heard of. It's quite the twist to see Green Arrow with a full rack of antlers and hoofed feet goin' around dispatching street packs of werewolves with his bow, or just regular law abiding werewolves even.  
For myself, I'm just a garbage collector. Not one of the supernatural people, not trained in magic, just doin' the rounds in a truck with the robotic arm to keep some semblance of order in a city rapidly deteriorating. One morning, I'm driving my route and listening to the radio news. The host talks with an Ohio State official about the possibility of the National Guard being called in to restore order.

Then this huge dude steps out in front of my truck. I mean fuckin' big. We watched as the giants kept growing, and nobody knows what their full size would be. This guy? He's pushin' eleven feet or so, and you don't need regular people next to him to get a sense that he's a giant. His eyes are small relative to his head, but his nose is bigger. His forehead is sloped, but I'm told that doesn't mean he's dumb.

It's an interesting fact that most giants were career professionals or amazing athletes. Like the metaphor of giants in their field turned literal. However, it meant they had to eat more to deal with their unchecked growth and struggle to get clothing that fit them. This giant had tied a couple pairs of business slacks together into an impromptu loin cloth.

"Hey," he shouts at me, as I slam on the brakes, "Open up!"

"Are you serious?" I shout while leaning out my driver side window, "There ain't nothin' in here you want. It's just trash. Now come on, I got to get movin' or they'll can my ass."

"Just let me look," he insists.

Pretty much every giant has the physique of a bodybuilder, but I think that's just to offset poorer leverage at their size. At eleven feet I can tell his legs are shorter relative to height for the same reason. He comes over to my door and reaches in, pretty as you please, and turns off my truck engine.

"The hell you doin'?" I curse, "C'mon, don't be a dick. Hey!"

The asshole takes the keys out, and then he walks around to the other side. His planting a food on the robotic arm and stepping up causes the entire truck to tilt on its shocks.

"The fuck, man!" Clearly this isn't my goddamn day.

"I'm hungry," he replies.

"You can't be that hungry," I complain and swing my hands up, "You don't know what kind of shit's in there. I won't even touch it with my bare hands, and I do it for a living."

"Just give me a minute," he says and rummages around the top opening where the arm dumps the street cans into.

"Don't make a mess, please," I say with resignation to the unusual accosting.

This giant is surprisingly eloquent, "I'm not fond of resorting to this either."

Then I notice the Fae with the costume further down the road. I think he's meant to be either that comic sorcerer guy or someone from Harry Potter. Never watched those movies, so I don't really know. But, he notices the look on my face and starts pacing over. Once within twenty yards or so, I hear the clop of his hooves, since Fae can't do shoes anymore.

"Is there a problem?" the Fae asks.

I wave him back. "Just chill, I guess he ain't hurtin' nothin'."

"No, if you got your route to do, I'll get him to stop," the Fae insists while shifting in his stance and putting his fists to his hips.

"Really?" I can't believe this is about to happen. "You gotta be stupid and corny? That dude'll break you in half... between his fingers."

And yet, the Fae is undaunted while assuming a stance like he's about to hurl something. "Yo, big guy! You need to let this man continue his job."

The giant isn't impressed either, and I catch a glimpse of his waving off gesture.

"Don't make me do this," the Fae warns.

"Hey, Bambi" I holler and point at the giant. "He'll just scrape your ass off the bottom of his foot. Seriously, don't be pullin' this shit."

And that's when the bolt of lightning arcs down from the sky to the giant.

The giant screams so loud I feel my chest reverberate and the truck windows rattle, "What the hell!"

"Awh shit," I shake my head, "Now you dunnit."

The giant hops off my truck, causing it to rock sideways a couple times, and stomps over to the Fae. There are burn marks up the big guy's chest and smoke from where body hair used to be. The giant tries an open-handed swat, clearly aware his strength alone is a deadly weapon.

Except, the giant's hand passes through the Fae like he's just a mirage. That's when I remember something, "Ohh, yeah, the the illusion thing."

Every Fae can do it, and they can see through illusions. Something about the lens in their eyeballs being able to polarize light. The next move by the Fae-- wherever the guy really is, makes the giant float off the ground.

"O-okay, that's impressive," I praise, figuring the giant to weigh half a ton, at least, "These magicians are getting better."

Then I see the same Fae walk around a corner at the other side of the street. He tilts his head and waves out to me. Then, he raises his right hand, and my truck keys fly from the giant to him. He sends them back to me with a throw instead of levitation, but I don't question it.

Quickly putting the keys in and turning the engine over, I steer the truck around the hovering helpless giant, "Sorry man."

"Kiss my ass," the giant curses at me.

I look at the Fae, maybe the real Fae, and shake my head, but then say out the window, "I appreciate the thought, but really just don't hurt the guy."

It's just gonna get weirder, but garbage don't collect itself... at least not yet.


End file.
